


Lost Girl

by boxofnothing



Series: Neverland May Have Never Existed [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Mentions of Rape, light Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 16:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11339229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofnothing/pseuds/boxofnothing
Summary: Wendy and her brothers traveled to Neverland but it wasn't what Wendy expected. Pan let her brothers leave after a night but not her. She was to forever be his most prized procession, mother.





	Lost Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back, almost two years ago but I intended it be used as a flashback for a longer fic I was working on yet kind of forgot to keep writing. If the response for this bad boy is good I might end up actually writing the rest of the fic.
> 
> enjoy

Three children were flying above the island. Many would have thought that to be impossible but anything was possible if you just believed.

Up ahead of them a shadow was flying, leading the way to camp.

Of the three children, two were boys. The older of the two had a mop of luscious brown hair on his head, blowing crazily in the wind. A pair of black, wide rimmed glasses rested atop his nose almost falling off into the sea below. His pajamas, a simple, white button down shirt and a pair of thin comfortable brown cotton pants, are pressed tight against his body because of the wind. He’s yelling at his brother about how amazing this is. But every few words his voice would crack and go an octave higher, but he didn't care. It was all amazing to him.

The other brother at the ripe age of eight had a head full of golden blonde locks. His hair was completely pushed off his face, flying back. But his hair was slightly better trimmed compared to his brother, not quite as unruly and wild. As he followed he did somersaults through the air as they flew towards the jungle. His red night shirt was rapidly flapping in the wind.

The eldest and sister of the three, flew alongside her brothers silently. Her golden brown hair was tied back in a loose braid for sleep. It was gently waving in the wind behind her. Her pale blue nightgown was short, but not too short, coming to about knee high length. Like her hair it was gently flowing in the wind. Being seventeen she was very skeptical of all this. She really thought it was a dream. She really did. This was just too creepy and unreal to happen in real life.

Slowly, the shadow of a boy began to descend into the jungle towards a clearing. A fire could be seen lighting up the entire clearing. Around the fire boys, at least ten, were dancing around it as if it was a ritual. The whole thing terrified her. None of this could be real.

She was far too scared. The once dream was slowly turning into a nightmare.

Before they landed, a boy, who looked around her age, came into the circle to greet them. She noticed that when his eyes laid on her a strange gleam crossed them. It was as if he was a hunter stalking his prey, her.

The shadow quickly flew away and was gone before their feet even touched the ground. She had watched as it practically entirely melted into the shadows. All but its white glowing eyes, standing out like two bright glowing stars. They seemed out of place because this whole place seemed to exude a dark aura about it. She watched as the eyes darted away into the jungle. Quickly, she diverted her attention to her brothers, ensuring their safety before addressing the boy in front of them, "Who are you and where are we?"

The gleam in his eyes seemed to grow if that was even possible. It scared her even more. "Feisty aren't we? I am Peter Pan and welcome to Neverland!" He said gesturing to the camp around him, "Stay as long as you like! But one thing is required. What are your names?"

Her youngest brother eagerly spoke up first without thinking, "Michael. Michael Darling."

Then the older of the two, "John."

The boy then looked to her as if she was going to tell him. She was not. The little...imp didn't deserve to know her name. Her name was sacred to her and the child in front of her did not deserve it. She remembered something her mother had told her a while back. Names have power. Don't ever let someone take yours. She knew that her mother wasn’t talking in this context, but it seemed to apply here as well. John nudged her and whispered, "Are you going to tell him or should I?"

Then she came up with an idea. "Natalie. My name is Natalie." She spoke clearly and surely even though that wasn't her real name. John and Michael both gave her a quizzical look for a split second but they must have assumed she had a good reason for the lack of the truth. She always had a good reason.

"Can I call you Nat?" He asked.

"No. Only my friends call me Nat." She answered sternly. That boy was not going to be her friend. Nowhere's close. From the way he was leering at her, he clearly wanted to be more than a friend.

"Well, John, Michael, and Nat let me show you the island."

xxx

He was finally going to let them leave.

She had honestly believed that he was going to keep them here forever and John and Michael were going to become lost boys and she was going to forced to become their mother. Like she was something be used not cherished. It honestly frightened her to her core. The way the boys looked at her like she was a hunk of meat. Her brothers didn't see her discomfort. Of course they wouldn't. Only another female would be able to see the tenseness in her shoulders or the way she constantly shied away from any contact with the lost boys or Pan. But there were no females on this island. There were no adults either. There was no here that could make her feel even remotely safe.

They neared the cliff that overlooked the cold, dark ocean. She saw the large pirate ship of Captain Hook on the horizon. There, on that ship, were the only adults on this dreaded land. And if she asked them for help they would probably just make her walk the plank, but it didn't matter anymore. She was going home.

Home to her parents.

Home to Nana.

Home to safety.

She watched as Felix tossed the bean into the small puddle of water. The portal began to form. It grew larger and larger until it was the size of the three of them combined if not bigger. She, John, and Michael clasped each other's hands. They stepped forward and she took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and they leapt. But just as they jumped she felt a hand clasp onto her arm, yanking her backwards. She was pulled back away from the portal and back to the island. Her eyes widened as she watched John and Michael continue to be pulled towards the portal, she being the only thing keeping them on this dreaded island. She held tight to John. Holding on as hard as she could. She didn't want to stay here. She saw the face of the boy clasping her arm. Pan.

"You're staying here, Nat!" He spat at her. Fear crossed her face. She knew what was going to happen. He was going to pull her back to him. She was going to be forced to stay and be their mother.

She turned her head and looked at John and Michael. Michael was only half there. He was already leaving her but John looked at her with terror. She felt him yank her towards the portal. She was pulled towards home. Just a little bit. However, the yank caused Michael to disappear completely into the green and John lost an arm to the mist. She turned back to look at Pan and the lost boy keeping them here. They were pulled closer towards the portal as well, but they kept leaning as far back as they could, keeping their distance. They didn't want to be sucked in because of the scuffle.

John pulled harder and harder. He was almost completely gone, but he kept pulling her closer into the oblivion. It was when John's head was about to disappear was when Wendy knew it was going to be over. Once John completely disappeared she knew that Pan would be able to pull her back to the island and keep her here.

"I LOVE YOU! TELL MIKE!" She screamed. She needed them to know that she really did love them. She never told them and she barely ever showed them. They needed to know in case she never saw them again.

"DON'T SAY THAT!!" He yelled back, "WE'RE NOT LEAVING YOU HERE!" And then his head faded away into the portal along with the rest of him. She stayed hovering above the ground from the pull of the portal for a few seconds before she was yanked back and landed on the ground hard by Pan and the lost boys feet.

She looked around, devastated, for a moment before she let out the most wretched sob. It wracked through her entire body before bursting forth from her mouth and into the night. Tears streamed down her face leaving clean paths in the smudged dirt on her face.

She looked at Pan, her face hot from tears only to see him grinning smugly.

He had won. He knew he had won. How was she even going to get back? She couldn't fly. She didn't have a bean. She was essentially his now.

Looking down at her he said, "And now Nat, you are mother." Then he gestured to two lost boys and they each took one of her arm and roughly pulled her up.

She had lost.

xxx

She had been here too long. Well, she thought that first night with her brothers still at her side was too long, but now she had definitely been here too long.

She was used to the jungle and the darkness and the heat. It all seemed natural now.

She had long since ditched her night dress from so long ago. She didn't stop wearing it because it was impractical. Actually it quite worked for the terrain. She did a lot of climbing and running in that dress. It gave her a lot of leg room to run and kick. No, she had to stop wearing it because she had been her attire for countless years. She had lost count years ago. The jungle wore it down. She ended up needing to make herself a new outfit. She ended up cutting away the skirt and sleeves and sewed herself a pair of pants from burlap she had found around camp. She did however keep a swatch of it with her. She used it as a rag sometimes. But mostly she used it to remind herself that she was still Wendy. She wasn't just Nat.

She sometimes she forgot that she was both Wendy and Nat. Not just one or the other. Pan had broken her so much that most of the time she forgot that Wendy even existed. It had been so long since someone had called her Wendy that she forgot what her real name sounded like sometimes. Sometimes she'd whisper it to herself when she was alone. But she was never alone. Someone was always watching her. Mostly Felix or Pan but if not them then another lost boy would be there, watching her.

Pan owned Nat. He controlled her. He didn’t control Wendy. Pan didn't even know Wendy existed.

Wendy was still a little girl. She still wanted to go to Neverland. She saw Neverland as a dream. To Nat the island was a nightmare. Wendy was the one that cried inside after she was used or abused. Nat stayed strong. Nat held her head high and spat in Pan's face.

But both Wendy and Nat missed John and Michael.

But no matter how long she was here, neither Wendy of Nat could get accustomed to sleeping with a dagger clenched in her hand beneath her pillow. Her knuckles were so white from her grip on the leather.

But recently her grip was much tighter around the small dagger. She had managed to get away and for the past few days she had been alone in the jungle. She had no idea where she was but she took that as a good sign. Maybe, she actually had no idea. Pan had always kept her on such a tight leash that she never got more than 10-20 feet from camp. At one point he actually had her on a rope leash.

For the past few days as she wandered and ran through the jungle alone, her only goal to get as far away from Pan and his crew, she recalled that other people did live on the island or around it. She recalled that in the story a group of natives lived on the island. However, she believed that one to be false. Tinkerbell was real. Pan had sworn and cursed her name enough. She hated Pan. She was often forced to tend to the wounds that the fairy had inflicted on the boys. She frequently found herself looking up to the woman.

Captain Hook she knew also resided on the twilight island. Pan cursed the pirate just as much as he did the fairy, if not more. Pan and the Captain had this sort of unwritten rule. If you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. But most of the time the boys broke the rule and Hook retaliated. He’d killed at least a dozen of Pan’s boys in retaliation for what they’d done. It was only fair. When Pan would find one of the boys bodies he’d just let it be knowing further engaging the pirate would only further anger him.

She had been walking through the jungle for hours. The vines and branches of the trees bit at her exposed arms. Her shirt was dirt smudged even more so than it usually was.and Her pants rough burlap crudely sewn together with twine scratched at her legs. She normally didn’t get to walk this much and now the rough fabric was really irritating her legs. After she turned the top of her night gown into a shirt she needed pants. Thankfully her mother had taught her how to sew. The burlap always itched, but she didn't care. At least she had pants.

Soon she stumbled into a clearing and looked around. Which direction should she go? One wrong turn and she could end back up at the camp. She had made a careful decision not to turn just so she wouldn't end up back at camp.

Rustling came from ahead. A light could be seen. Someone was definitely coming. But she was frozen in place. It was probably a lost boy and her feet had grown into the ground, her toes becoming roots. She closed her eyes and waited for the moment she was discovered.

"Who the hell are you?" A female voice said. A female voice! She wasn't with Pan. She couldn't be. She opened her eyes and a blonde holding a dagger, fiercely looking at her greeted her. She had heard all about her.

"Tinkerbell?" She muttered under her breath.

"What? Speak up!"

She made a choice. She knew who she wanted to be now. "Um Wendy." She said weakly. "Who are you?" She just wanted to know for sure.

"Fine, I got your's you deserve to know mine. Tinkerbell, but I swear if you call me that I will hang you by your ankles. It's Tink and nothing else. Why are you here?"

"I've been here for as long as I can remember. The shadow brought me and my brothers. Pan let them leave after one night, but he wouldn't let me. I've been his slave ever since." She told her.

"Wait. You're the one that Pan is always talking about. You're the mother. Oh my god. Come here." She opened her arms and gestured for her to come towards her. When Wendy was close enough to her the petite blonde pulled her into her. It was the first time in a really long time that she had been genuinely hugged. She didn't know what it felt like anymore, but she knew instantly that she had missed it. She melted into her embrace, closing her eyes. She didn't know how long that they stayed like that. From all that she heard about the woman she didn't expect her to be a hugger. When Wendy finally began to pull away and open her eyes she only then realized that silent, hot tears had been rolling down her face.

"I'm sorry," the fairy whispered. "You are not going back to that camp. I can't let you. There is only one place that I can take you, but you may not like it. I don't even like it there but it's the safest place in this realm."

"Where?"

"Hook's ship."

"What? But he's a pirate. He's killed lost boys."

"First of all he has not and whatever he did to those boys, they definitely deserved. They are not children, but you already know that. They are monsters and Pan is their king." She had started to walk back where she had come from. Not asking if Wendy was going to follow or not. This woman had offered her the most comfort she and experienced the past countless years and if she was offering safety, she was following.

For a while they walked silently through the dense jungle, not stopping once. Tinkerbell slashing through the foliage every few feet or so. After about 20 minutes or so she asked, "How did you get away? I've seen Pan's camp he almost always has it locked down tight."

"Um well awhile back I heard some of the boys talking about what you can do if you grind up poppy seeds. You know how they essentially knock someone out?"

"Yeah I've used that trick on a couple boys before. Works like a charm."

"Well, anyway Pan had sent me and another boy out to collect a certain some herbs and such to make a stew. While we were out I came across a couple poppies. So I ground them up quickly and knocked the boy out. I just ran. I took the boys dagger and the other things he was carrying. That's how I got the satchel and second set of clothes. I have been walking and running ever since. I haven't even turned. I'm too afraid that I'll turn around in a circle and walk right back into camp. It terrifies me."

"Smart girl. But now you have me and I know where I'm going. We'll get to the shore in a few hours and then I have to flag Hook down. But then we have safety for you. He hates what Pan is doing. He recruits the children with lost souls. They're all alone and they have nowhere else to go. They are actually lost and he takes advantage of that." she said as she tore through another layer of branches, vines and leaves.

"I know he does. I've seen how he brings in new boys. He breaks them down and makes them hate any remaining family they have left if they have any. He only gives them one night. They can only stay one night for free. They have to make a decision before dawn. If not then they have to stay. No matter what. It's horrible. My brothers are lucky to have left."

"Brothers?" She asked.

"Yeah. Two. They came here with me so long ago. Or at least I think it was a lifetime ago. Time feels different here. But their names were John and Michael. They chose to leave thankfully. At first I think they wanted to stay. I think the freedom was alluring. But not me. I didn't trust Pan from the beginning." Wendy said, shuddering slightly from the memory of first meeting Pan.

"How so?" She asked using her machete to clear the path again.

"The look he gave me. The way he looked at me rocked me to my core. He looked at me like a piece of meat and not a person. That's why I think I didn't give him my real name. Now I'm thankful for that it's basically the only thin-"

"Wait! Hold up! He doesn't know your real name?" She said, stopping and cutting the girl off.

"No,"

"Good for you. Names hold a lot of power. They hold who a person is and you didn't let him take that from you."

"He took a lot of things from me though. My innocence. My virginity. My sense of security. My trust. My everything."

"But he doesn't have you." The blonde stated pointing a finger at me. "He can claim you but he can't make you his. You're a person, Wendy."

"I don't believe that." She said, turning her head to the ground ashamed of how she truly felt.

"Why?"

"Because...because..." She stammered, "He really did mark me as his." She lifted up the hem of her once nightgown turned shirt to reveal a small insignia made of scar tissue. A brand. A small feather intertwined with an arrow. Clearly marking her as his.

"Oh my word. He really did that to you?"

She nodded. "My first night. He tied my wrists and ankles to trees and shoved a disgusting cloth in my mouth. I remember watching a lost boy coming at me with the red, hot rod. I can still feel the blinding, stabbing pain that coursed through me. I ended up blacking out from the pain, thankfully. I just remember waking up with my stomach wrapped in leaves."

Tink looked at her, unable to comprehend anything. "I'm sorry. I just...I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. It wasn't your fault. Let's just keep walking. It's been awhile since I've even thought of safety and the idea of actually feeling safe sounds really good."

Tink nodded and turned back towards the direction they were headed. For the rest of the trek, the pair remained in a comfortable silence. Both relishing in the comfort of having the company of another woman.

xxx

Sword slashing through the jungle foliage. It tore through everything in its path with ease.

Wendy marched through the jungle, careful of everything. She knew her way around. The treehouse was only a mile or so from the stream and the stream was straight ahead. She may be familiar with the island now but she was still cautious. She knew that lost boys roamed the jungle still searching for her. She heard the yells and the whoops. She had almost been caught a few times but she had hideouts. It had been a year or at least what she thought was a year since her escape. She was free.

Free from Pan at least.

She wasn't free from the island.

She couldn't escape the island.

It was impossible to truly escape the island. Tink and Hook had told her that even if you left, the island was forever embedded in you soul.

It had taken her two months to be willing to leave Hook's ship and venture onto the island. It had taken her another month to be willing to spend a night on the beach with the ship still insight. Another month for her to spend a night in the jungle. Two more for her to spend a week or so with Tink in her tree house and one more for her to finally start to live with her.

For the past five months or so she had been residing with the woman, every few weeks or so she spent a night on the ship.

She still remembered her first night in tree house. It was the first night in a long time that she didn't feel secure. At least on the ship she was away from it all. There was a great expanse of water and jungle that separated her and Pan. But when she was there in the tree Wendy felt vulnerable. Pan could be right there, lurking beneath her and she could never know it. Pan could take her without Tink ever even knowing. She could lose her one true friend that she had on this island. She could lose everything again.

But she survived. She began to feel some what secure on the island. The island wasn't a home. It was a place that she lived and survived on. It would never be her home. Her home was back in London, but the tree house and the ship were the closest thing she has had in a long time.

Wendy reached the stream. She stepped in and felt the cool water. It washed over her bare feet, the mud and leaves that had caked into her skin began to loosen and wash away. She sat down and rested for a moment. She put down her sword and pack, so she could rub her sore feet.

She massaged them, relieving some of the pressure and stress she held in them. She watched the dirt come off the her feet and swirl in the water before rushing downstream to the sea. She felt the four blisters that were just about to pop. Another was forming just in between the big toe and her second toe of her right foot, a horrible spot. Next, she traced the long scar on the bottom of her foot.

Tink had been teaching her the basic life skills of surviving on Neverland. That day had been finding food. They had been wading through the shallow waters with spears. Wendy hadn't seen the sharp, jagged rock and she stepped on it completely. It cut deep into her foot and she hadn't been able to walk for weeks. She felt useless. But Hook had still put her to work. That was how she learned the topography of Neverland. She had studied the maps he had for weeks. She memorized at least three of them.

In her mind she could pinpoint her exact location on each of those maps.

A mile from the tree house. Three from the beach closest to Hook's ship. Five from Pan's camp.

She felt relatively secure. She wasn't lost and she didn't hear or see anything unfamiliar.

She picked up her pack and sword and began to wade across the stream. The water came up to her shins and splashed the bottom hem of the pants she had made. She looked down and could see them darkening from the water. She didn't care. The water was actually helping them. She couldn't even remember the last time that they had been washed.

She was halfway across the stream when she saw the boy stumble into the clearing. The lost boy. She froze. Unable to move even a toe.

She watched as he looked around for a moment. Taking in the area and its features, not that it was anything different. Then he saw her, frozen in the middle of the stream. A smile crept onto his face. He began to advance towards her.

Finally her body remembered how to work. She heavily lifted up her right leg and then her left. Each step gaining more and more speed as she trudged through the water. She reached the edge of the stream she had just sat at and staggered as she tried to gain her footing. She hastily put on each shoe while running and stumbling to get away.

She made it 50 feet. That was when she was cornered with an arrow pointed at her heart.

An arrow she could see was dipped in dreamshade.

That was when she really got a chance to look at the boy. She instantly remembered the boy. She had thrown poppy powder in his face about a year ago.

He looked the same. Dark brown hair with beads and twine woven in. He wore what all the lost boys did. Dark brown and greens rags to hide themselves. Bare feet covered in mud and grime.

One difference stood out though.

A long scar, reaching from just above the eyebrow, down his eye all the way to his chin.

His obvious punishment for losing Pan's most prized possession.

"Look what we have here. A little lost girl. Do you know how long we have been looking for you?" He sneered.

Wendy said nothing, but looked him dead in the eye.

"Too long." He pulled the bowstring back even farther. "Pan won't reward me for finding you and bringing you back. I lost you after all."

Wendy held her stare.

"You see this?" He gestured to the scar with his shoulder, "I lost his possession so he made me lose something of mine. You have caused me so much pain and suffering. I think I'm going to make you suffer before you die. Pan doesn't need to know I even saw you." He loosed the bowstring and for the next second time seemed to move in slow motion.

She watched the arrow wiggle and shoot towards her chest. She tried to move fast enough but she couldn't. She felt the arrow pierce her stomach.

Wendy fell to the ground, the pain nearly unbearable.

The boy knelt to the ground next to her and leaned in close and whispered, "Goodbye, Nat."

He stood up grasping his bow and strood away with a smirk on his face.

Wendy lay there clenching her stomach. She tried to stay awake. She kept her mind thinking of anything and everything. Counting and singing but she quickly grew tired. Her eyelids grew heavy as if stones were tied to them.

The last thing she saw was a small pebble lying in front of her face on the jungle floor.

xxx

Tink was walking and slashing through the jungle.

The path was familiar and a common one she took. She was looking forward to the stream ahead of her. It had been weeks since she had washed herself and just upstream was a small pool perfect for bathing.

She began to reach into her pack for a rag when she saw her.

Crumpled on the ground clutching her stomach. She rushed forward but she knew it was no use.

She knew what a lifeless body looked like. She could point one out a mile away.

Her face was ashen and cold. Thankfully her eyes were closed. She had gone gently then. She rolled her onto her back to see what had happened. An arrow to the stomach. Blood stained the front of her shirt and had seeped its way to the back. The blood was a darker brown meaning she had been here a while. Thankfully no animal had gotten to her.

Wendy deserved a proper burial. One with flowers and family and friends. One back in London and not on this horrid island. The island destroyed everything precious and full of life.

The island took little boys and turned them into monsters.

It took little girls and broke them.

It took the hopeful and made them scared.

It would no more. Tink was going to stop it. The island would not bring another little girl into its clutches. It would not.

**Author's Note:**

> This always really stuck with me. I hope you liked it as much as I do so please review and let me know. Thanks!


End file.
